Okay guys, say it with me this time… Not! The! Real! Bill! And! Steve! And yes, I know I’m going straight to hell for this. -Marquise De Slade
Reach Out and Touch Someone, Part 2
Midnight at Microsoft. The office is dark, lit only by the cold green glow of a monitor. The computer’s owner isn’t at his desk, and his fingers aren’t on his keyboard.
***
"Oh, yeah!"
"Mmmm… right there…"
"You like that?"
"God, yes…"
"Touch me."
"You’re so hard… you get me so hot…"
"How bad do you want me?"
"I need you now – oh, GOD!"
"Yes! Ohhhh…"
"Oh god… oh…"
"Come on…"
"God! You’re the best!"
"You – mmmm… can call me Bill… oh, YEAH!"
Breathless laughter segues into: "Oh, Bill… harder…"
"Mmmm… yeah…ohhhh…"
"Yes… yes! Oh, god, YES!"
"Yeah! Oh, god! STEVE!"
"Ohhh… you’re so good…"
"I love you…"
"Mmmm… Bill?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Who’s Steve?"
Bill nearly drops the receiver from his shaking hand. "Um… what?"
He can hear the smirk in the voice on the other end of the line. "You heard me."
"I, uh, didn’t say ‘Steve’. I said… ‘Please’. As in ‘please do it to me now, you awesome sex goddess’."
"That’s why I love you, Bill. You never cease to amaze me."
"Amaze you, or amuse you?"
"Both. Now get some rest, lover. You want to be bright and cheerful for taking over the world tomorrow, don’t you?"
"Oh, I have a boundless supply of energy…"
"Mmmm… I just bet you do. If only I were there in person…"
"You’re right. I really shouldn’t tease you. Goodnight, Ann."
"Sweet dreams, Bill."
***
Bill Gates hangs up the phone and slumps into his chair, clothes still in disarray, fingers still sticky. He stares blankly at the flashing cursor on the monitor.
Sweet dreams, should he have any, probably won’t be about Ann. Bill leans forward and types with his clean hand: -Sex makes you stupid.- Wondering if the stakes are getting too high even for him, he hits the backspace key and watches the words disappear.
-End-
Okay, that wasn’t the real Ann, either. I wouldn’t know the real Ann if she jumped out of my soup. Honest. This whole thing is Ballmer’s fault. Bill and Steve will return in "Keep Your Enemies Closer".
Tags: bill/steve, infamy
